Murder Stalks EastEnd!

Reported by: Benton deLaw

In the midst of the eleventh year of a “No-Crime” wave, as reported by the Rhydin City Police Department, this reporter has stumbled upon a major inconsistency: a killer stalks young women in the Eastend!

Five days ago this newspaper received a daunting piece of evidence; a letter from the unknown killer laying claim to “grand work” and promising to send this paper a “clip” of “the ladys ears” when next they strike!

When local authorities could be contacted they had no response for the press at this time. Claiming: “If it really were that big a deal, we’d do something, honest!” They wanted “nothing whatsoever to do” with the letter or the “alleged killings”.

“The Eastside is notorious, dontcha know? No respectable citizen of Rhydin goes down that way. That’s where all the sleazy bars, strip joints and flop houses are.” Proclaimed a local government official who refuses to allow us to print his name.

After some super sleuthing, it was discovered that there have been two suspected slayings in the East End:

Pepper N’dsalt and Arianna Couvillion, both known prostitutes of ill repute.

We’ve enclosed a copy of the letter sent to us by the self-proclaimed killer, just to keep our readers informed. Be cautious when in the Eastend!

Dear Boss,
I am down on whores and I shant quit ripping them till I do get buckled. Grand work the last job was. I gave the lady no time to squeal. How can they catch me now. I love my work and want to start again. You will soon hear of me with my funny little games. I saved some of the proper red stuff in a ginger beer bottle over the last job to write with but it went thick like glue and I cant use it. Red ink is fit enough I hope ha. ha. The next job I do I shall clip the ladys ears off and send to you just for jolly. Keep this letter back till I do a bit more work, then give it out straight. My knife’s so nice and sharp I want to get to work right away if I get a chance. Good Luck.

Yours truly
Jack the Ripper

Dont mind me giving the trade name


HOROSCOPES

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More on Page 13!




Double Trouble?

Announcements

Reported by: Physhra Pink

Rubbing the numbness and wood grain impression from my cheek I climbed off E.E.’s floor, snagged a towel from the roll, the half a sixer from the fridge and plopped down to sort through the latest findings.

The night before, this reporter had gotten sidetracked from a splendiferous roving soirée when a duel outside an unnamed locale was observed in progress. Roaming about the more medieval parts of the township one would expect to see such feats on near every street and alley. What struck this reporter as odd concerning this particular bout of testosterone slinging were the combatants.

At first it seemed as if two brothers were the ones placing blade against blade. With closer observation they appeared to be twins. As the battle waged onward, however, this reporter marked abnormally similar behaviors and moves from the pair.

While blow after blow was countered and parried by the duelists, this reporter found herself nodding off against the building where she held her vantage point. Finally the skirmish was called a draw. Wherein the males clapped one another on the back heartily, laughed jovially, and offered to buy rounds for each other at the nearest watering hole.

Intrigued to find out the nature of their dispute…

continued on last page.

Missing Space Craft The “Event Horizon“, Crew was due back forty-two days ago, family, friends are frantic with concern!  Large Reward offered for ANY INFO!!! Contact: Starfleet Command


Missing Person: One small elf, female, aged about 140. Has been sighted in Rhydin recently. Answers to the name “Aiodanne”. If you have information as to her whereabouts, please contact: Serastin Morelen.


Missing Child!!! Anyone with information regarding Claudia Realm Blackheart, six-year old adopted daughter of Sid. Contact: ObsdnShayd


 Wedding Announcement! Lord and Lady Ramblings are pleased to announce the upcoming nuptials of their daughter, WillieJo, to Viscount Goghan d’Lamoitelle. Saturday, 10pm EST at Rhydin Sanctuary Chapel.


Lost: Gold charmed wedding ring. Last seen near Rhydin’s Red Light district. Reward Offered for it’s speedy return. Contact “Bob


A Grand Celebration in Tyriol! A masquerade will be held in the Great Dragon Hall, with Destre tending OPEN bar. October 31, 8pm by the eastern clock, more details as they become available!



Personals

Found: One glass slipper, on staircase at castle. If you were the girl in blue who lost it, contact me asap! Contact: Prince Charming


Lost: Six-feet, blonde hair, goes by the name Mac. Send home!


LOST: One small box, not too heavy. Has lovely lettering on the side. Also has lovely music it plays. It is special and dear to me. If found, please send to Molly Albaelia, P.O. Box 125, Rhydin.


Estate Auction: Everything MUST GO! Elegant furniture, barely used! Fashionable clothing, barely worn! Knick-knacks of exotic finds going at rock bottom prices! Wednesday, 10pm EST at Creepin Vines Manse. South end of Rhydin Lake.


Rhydin Marina NOW OPEN! Settle your ships with us! Slip fees nominal! Located on the fashionable upper Southside Docks. Spelled to stay put! You’ll always know where your boat is parked!


DIVORCED! I hereby state that I, Lord Mousegrave Hollingstern, am divorced from that shrew Lady Marietta Louise Darkstrom! May she drown in the sea of her own bitterness!


I didn’t do it! Signed: Wee Willy Winky.

Seeking Your Sole Mate? Place an ad with us! We are the paper that gets the results!

Peruse the Personals!


Mafia Involved in Murder!

by Sharon Gossip

It was a moment of horror for Parker Nosy when he stumbled across the remains of Pepper N’dsalt on August 31. “Her throat was cut from ear to ear, and that aint all, nope, no siree!” Mr. Nosy exclaimed. “Twas as ifn a big scythe had been drug across her torso, rippin’ her clean open from sternum to, well, you know.”

Mr. Nosy witnessed the Mob cover-up as the “clean-up” crew arrived mere minutes after his gruesome discovery. “A lady, with horns and a tail, you know her, I’m sure, she co-owns the Oak and the Ash? She came an’ told me not to worry myself about none of it. That she would take care of everything.”

It was skill, not luck that brought this reporter to the door of the infamous Lady Belial, co-owner of the Oak and Ash and a few other less known establishments. “There be nay a cover-up, Miss.” was her only comment. When pressed for the possibility of a more extensive interview she replied: “Aye, I read yer rag, but I nay want me name in it.”

Uncovering the most horrific evidence…

continued on last page!





Scene & Heard

Help Wanted

It’s Eye Spy, Eagle Eye, reporting the buzz from glitz to gutter!

Down here, kiddies!  That’s right, look *down*, waaaaaaay down, into the grime, into the gutter, where old I Spy has wallowed this past week.

Let me start with the total anxious mood that rode me all week long. It was like a dark, looming cloud, something hideous and persistent, something inescapable. My thoughts were a jumble and I seriously needed some down time, so off I went a slummin’.

Yes Kittens, out into the more nefarious part of town, this boy did wander! And let me tell you what these eyes did see!!?

In the Medieval Tavern I stumbled upon Gods warring, much like in a bad Physhra flick, if you know what I mean? ::wink, wink, nudge, nudge.:: Yes, thunder rolled through the rafters while patrons stood slack-jawed and unresponsive in the wake of the horrendous event. It was no place for a boy to play so onwards I skipped.

I found myself in a tavern that toted it was for “All Creatures” and might I add, it wasn’t lying! A disgusting orc with the table manners of a lunatic and less grace, ate a small furry man, who then proceeded to cut his way out of the orc’s rather over-sized belly. Ewww, sweetlings, the smell was rancid!

I fled to the next bar down the street, a small quiet place it seemed, until the explosion! As I made my way from the wreckage I noticed an odd building to the left. Oh, my, it was the Rhydin PD, and the lights were on!

And as I stand here today, I swear to you that I had the most fun at the PD! The ambiance could use a little, well, a lot of work, but the police were very polite, leaving the place open for us scoundrels to play! Now, now, I hear that hiss at the sight of those primitive cells, but let me reassure you there are many uses for those bolted rings on the walls!

And soooo many willing to play!  You’d think the Police Department had become the hottest of hot spots to go a wooing! Well, I know I’ll be there next weekend! Looking for Max the Mighty and Dom Don, the highlights of my party anyway!

Watch for me, kiddies! I’ll be out and about, getting scene and heard!


Newspaper Distributors Needed! Full benefits for part time work! Competitive wages offered! Contact: The Evening Shroud


Chambermaids for the Horn’d Hunter. Must be willing to work weekends. Cleaning ability a must and a friendly “can-do” attitude a plus. Contact: Orion Elaar or Tiris Ael


Relics, ancient knick-knacks and other paraphernalia wanted. Will pay well for quality goods! Contact: Mr. C Wraithburn


Cleaner seeking local jobs. Experienced in the art of elimination. Creative problem solver with a flair for the less obvious. Contact: Acelin Adams


Do you want your words touched, fondled, folded, spindled… maybe even… mutilated? ::wink, wink, nudge, nudge.:: Come write for the paper that reaches the world; one way or another! Contact: Physhra Pink


S-Mart needs Stock Boys! Late, late shifts, night people preferred. Contact: S-Mart


Pest removal service needed!!! Must be able to handle large rats, approximately 6 feet tall. As long as it’s out of the house, I don’t care what you do to it. Contact “Bob’sWife.


Wanted: Accredited Headshrinker to take care of a slight problem. Contact: E. Go Tyistical.


Wanted: Good supply of eye of newt and fresh dragons liver. We have received plenty hair of dog, don’t send anymore, please! Contact Hecuba, Hecate and Hazel.


 

ZuZu’s Pleasure Palace!

“What can we do to YOU?”

Meet the girl of your dreams! Enjoy a relaxing massage. Clean sheets always provided!

Ladies seeking a profitable career? Contact Madame ZuZu Petals. 

Warehouse District, lower EastEnd. 
(NOTE: During high Nexus storm activity, we may be relocated to the lower WestEnd.)



Advertise Through US!

Gotta Ad?

The Evening Shroud offers competitive prices to all!  Advertise through us!  We are the paper that reaches the people! Whether it is wrapped in fish or not! Assassins’, a little slow in the targets? Demimondes’ need a few more clients? Tavern owners, need more of a crowd to make your bills?

Contact: Physhra Pink

No paper goes through as many hands as ours! From the streets to the markets into your very homes! Need a job? Place an ad with us! Have an important announcement?  Let us tell the world for you!  We can’t guarantee they’ll read it; you can lead a horse to water but… At least we try!

Contact: Sharon Gossi