BREAKING NEWS!

Hot off the presses, and we do mean, HOT! (Poor Mac, our late typesetter as of this printing; don’t bother with flowers dear readers, his wife would prefer donations instead!)

Explosions shake the walls of The Brotherhood of Warriors Elite, a.k.a. BoWE as their former commander rages over the destruction of the Guild’s favorite hang-out.

Rumors rage that the RoED, a.k.a. Riders of the Eternal Darkness, were responsible. Once allies the two guilds could face off.

Is there war on the horizon? Will BoWE tolerate such insult? Will the perpetrators ever pay? Stay tuned here with us, dear readers as surely there is more to come!


Wealth En Masse in Rhydin!

Reported by: Benton deLaw

In a shocking revelation Rhydin Sanitation Department confessed to a horrendous shortage of manpower.  ‘It’s hard to keep employees when they hear about the disappearances near the docks, and the frequent attacks by night-dwellers’ Said a high ranking official with the RSD, who wished to remain anonymous.

It seems that many in Rhydin do not need a “regular job” explained a local government official. “it’s the magic and the mayhem you see, it is easy to make what you want when you can.”

“Money seems to grow on trees or simply appear in pockets in this place!” proclaimed a naive new arrival. 

Just how rich is rich? Many of the local widows have found a font of cash in marrying AWOL’s, those men who appear one day and vanish the next. It seems that an epidemic is upon us as more and more citizens resort to conjuring the big buck rather than earning them.

“We can’t win!” cried a local Inn-keep. “What with the Shady underworld dealings, the rowdies extorting protection money, purchasing all kinds of weird, imported stock and no employees! Conjured money simply vanishes in the morning! Where’s the profit in that? It’s nothing but trouble, I tell you!!”

“We can’t find enough bodies to staff McRhydin’s, we may have to shut down altogether!” exclaimed a local business owner.

In a related story, Grail’s Stew is on the loose again. Once a relatively harmless (if you can call stew that eats those who intend to dine upon it) conglomeration of secret ingredients, the Stew has reportedly made an unholy alliance with sentient coffee served by a former employee of the Red Dragon Inn (inc). This stew/coffee amalgamation should be considered dangerous. If you see it, do not attempt to capture it, or approach it (even if you see a loved one being devoured). “Call the Rhydin RSPCA and run.” informed the Police Spokesperson who also prefers to remain anonymous.


HOROSCOPES

Ask Auntie Mystic

WIN!!!!   Read about your astrological sign and WIN!!!!  

Get to know the inner and outer you while exploring your past, future and fictional worlds.

Read About it! Page 9!

A new Column from our own In-House Visionary, Mystic Zotix!

Have a crisis? A life-changing dilemma? Let Auntie Mystic spill her wealth of wisdom all over you!

More on Page 13!



Conspiracy of local bakeries linked to increased Nexus storms?

Announcements

Reported by: Physhra Pink

Just what is it with this preponderance of baked goods floating about the realm these days? And why is everyone so hell bent on shoving some treat or another into this reporter’s (or anyone’s, for that matter) mouth? It’s gotten so one can’t visit a favorite hang-out without the pastry squad swooping down like vultures onto some wayward roadkill. Really now, how do they think one maintains a figure such as this one? Certainly not by smacking down every chocolate/cinnamon/orange/snozberry/
salmon/minced meat/walnut
wrapped delicacy that is waved beneath one’s nose.

One interesting thing to note, however. This reporter has uncovered a possible conspiracy brewing. The other night, sometime between dusk and I-shouldn’t-have-had-that-twelfth-PGGB dawn, something occurred to me as my head rested comfortably against cool porcelain.

During the course of the evening’s observations it was witnessed that a number of those partaking of certain free confections disappeared soon after indulging. To which askances of “Where did so-and-so get off to?” were met with the standard reply of “The Nexus must have got them.” Said with a bit too practiced an air, if you ask this reporter.

continued on last page!

 

 

Seeking information on a particular “wooden box with odd glyphs on top”. “Eclectic Curios” rewards information handsomely.  Contact: Mr C Wraithburn


Found: One garishly fuchsia pink and aqua two-wheeled motorized cycle. We can’t get near the darn thing and it’s blocking our drive! Please, please, come and get it! Contact: Peter and Martha Piper


Seeking information on a missing space craft known as “Event Horizon“, the crew was due back twenty-one days ago, anyone who has any information will be rewarded! Contact: Starfleet Command


Missing Person: One small elf, female, aged about 140. Has been sighted in Rhydin recently. Answers to the name “Aiodanne”. If you have information as to her whereabouts, please contact: Serastin Morelen.


Missing Child!!! Anyone with information regarding Claudia Realm Blackheart, six-year old adopted daughter of Sid. Contact: ObsdnShayd

 


Missing Person: Any information being sought on a Mr.  Alexander Laurence Harrington, a pretty Victorian gentleman with a British accent.  He may appear somewhat lost in these realms. Contact: Jack through The Evening Shroud



Lost: One left hand. One right ear. Forefinger to a right hand. Please contact Louie the Leper


Needed: Brain from a male specimen. Female brains need not apply, they’ve been used. Contact: Dr. Frank N. Stein.


From Rogut to Regal, come to our beverage tasting soirees at your local Red Dragon Keep, Wednesdays and Fridays 11pm by the Eastern Clock.


Cooking Classes offered at local Red Dragon Inn by FishNChips “Where were ya’ll last week?” Sawyer. Thursdays, 1am by the Eastern Clock. “Ya best come see who we’ll be servin’ up this week, hear?!”


Needed: Fire proof armor. Please contact S. George


The Helstons: A Traditional Rhydin Family or GodFather of the Mob?


Personals

by Sharon Gossip

Recently, this reporter found herself in the company of the charming and charismatic Lars Helston, owner of “Lars Blood Gin Joint” and “The Backdoor Pub“.

Rumors of association with the infamous Bloods, an obvious Rhydin Mob force, and documented dealings with another well-known Mafia Head, only recently returned to the realms, suggests that the Helstons may be more than just the traditional Rhydin Family they appear to be. Yet evidence is sketchy as to the depth of their involvement with the shady underground dealings of the Rhydin Mob.

One source reports: “The Helstons have been around as long as any of the other Gods, ok?” but refrained from giving any further details.

Lars Helston has graciously granted this reporter the opportunity for an interview. More on this as it happens!

Seeking Your SoleMate? Place an ad with us! We are the paper that gets the results!

Peruse the Personals!





Scene & Heard

Help Wanted

It’s Eye Spy, Eagle Eye, reporting the buzz from glitz to gutter!

And I wallowed in the gutter this weekend, kiddies! Yes, I found myself just basking in the dirt and grime of the unwashed masses that haunt the streets and public places like the plague!

It all began with what I had thought would be a Premier Night Out! A Grand Opening, a festival of fun! With only the creme de la creme of Rhydin society to rub elbows and, hopefully, knees with!

You can imagine the horror, the shock, the dismay when I found the place tightly sealed and the Grand Opening, the festival of fun, cancelled! Yes, Kittens, you heard me right! Cancelled with the capitol “C”!

In a realm where money may only be magic, it seems there is some kind of manpower shortage just wrecking havoc on My Good Time!

Instead of fast food and revelry, I found witless fools and brainless fluff. From the streets of fair Rhydin to the Waterfalls, from the westside to the east, there was no relief!

Oh-where-oh-where is a poor party boy to go when the party’s been cancelled??!!

When one is left with lemons, one simply must make lemonade! I went home and had my own party with 20 or so intimate friends and the wash tub!

Watch for me, kiddies! I’ll be out and about, getting scene and heard!

Chambermaids for the Horn’d Hunter. Must be willing to work weekends. Cleaning ability a must and a friendly “can-do” attitude a plus. Contact: Orion Elaar or Tiris Ael


Taco Hades: Hiring all shifts. People skills a plus. Cooking ability negotiable. Contact: Tacos-R-Us


Relics, ancient knick-knacks and other paraphernalia wanted. Will pay well for quality goods! Contact: Mr C Wraithburn


Cleaner seeking local jobs. Experienced in the art of elimination. Creative problem solver with a flair for the less obvious. Contact: Acelin Adams


Rhydin Sanitation: Hiring for Graveyard shift. Contact: Clovis MacKleen


Do you want your words touched, fondled, folded, spindled… maybe even… mutilated? ::wink, wink, nudge, nudge.:: Come write for the paper that reaches the world; one way or another! Contact: Physhra Pink


Wanted: Good supply of eye of newt, hair of dog and fresh dragons liver. Please contact Hecuba, Hecate and Hazel.



Advertise Through US!

Gotta Ad?

The Evening Shroud offers competitive prices to all!  Advertise through us!  We are the paper that reaches the people! Whether it is wrapped in fish or not! Assassins’, a little slow in the targets? Demimondes’ need a few more clients? Tavern owners, need more of a crowd to make your bills?

Contact: Physhra Pink

No paper goes through as many hands as ours! From the streets to the markets into your very homes! Need a job? Place an ad with us! Have an important announcement?  Let us tell the world for you!  We can’t guarantee they’ll read it; you can lead a horse to water but… At least we try!

Contact: Sharon Gossip